Clients with personality disorders often engage in confusing, contradictory, or even self-defeating behaviors that can be misinterpreted as manipulative or resistant. In reality, many of these behaviors are defensive strategies, protective mechanisms developed early in life to manage overwhelming emotional pain and preserve a sense of self. This session focuses on identifying and understanding these defenses as essential to survival, not signs of pathology.

We’ll explore common defenses seen across personality disorders, including splitting, projection, denial, idealization and devaluation, dissociation, and reactive anger. These defenses often serve to manage painful emotions such as shame, fear of abandonment, or perceived threat to identity. While they may appear rigid or maladaptive, they represent a client’s best attempt to navigate emotional experiences that feel unmanageable or dangerous.

Through clinical examples and discussion, participants will learn how to recognize when a client is using a defense, how to avoid reinforcing it, and how to gently explore the underlying emotional vulnerability it protects. We’ll also examine how certain defenses are more characteristic of specific personality structures, for example, narcissistic defensiveness versus borderline splitting, and how this shapes the therapeutic relationship.

Rather than trying to dismantle defenses prematurely, this session emphasizes a stance of clinical empathy and timing, knowing when to validate, when to interpret, and when to wait. By understanding defenses as adaptive, clinicians can reduce reactivity, build trust, and help clients gradually develop more flexible and authentic ways of relating to themselves and others.